Why Is Divorce So Hard?

Getting married is easy. Getting divorced is hard.

In past times, divorce was actually impossible. Then the law changed to allow divorce for adultery, cruelty or desertion, but you had to prove it. In most states, today you need only to assert ‘irreconcilable differences.’ But that’s the only uncomplicated part.

You cannot get a divorce except from the court of law.  The divorce process is strictly controlled by each state.

Even more problematic, the judicial system treats the marriage partners as adversaries.This pins one spouse against the other which can emotionally damage not only the spouses, but also the children.

In every divorce case, there is a Petitioner and a Respondent.

Getting divorced involves completing a great many forms and divulging a lot of personal information. Those forms have to be filed with the court, and served on your spouse who is now officially is a adversary.

Whatever the marriage was like, the cost of treating your husband or wife as an adversary in a legal proceeding will  be  emotionally charged, and sometimes cripplingly financially for both sides. The only winners are the lawyers.

If there are children, the court will exert strict control over custody, parenting and child- support arrangements. This means the parental relationship between the parents will continue in some form indefinitely. Many parents do not appreciate how profound the emotional ties are between child and parent until the family unit actually ends. For the children, a divorce can appear like a “atom bomb” in their lives and the emotional scars it causes will likely last well into the child’s adult years.

There is a way of  other  fighting each other in court at great expense. And there is.

Without giving up your rights, and with professional help to navigate the complexity of the divorce process, you can achieve dissolution of your marriage, without adding to the stress and minimizing the expense.

It is called a mediated divorce and it now available in almost all states.


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