What If Both Partners Argue Too Much?
Few behaviors cause as much stress on a relationship then when partners argue incessantly. There are constructive approaches you can take, but you must also be willing to address how you deal with conflict and whether how you approach conflict is part of the problem.
Assuming you value and want to keep this relationship, you may want to choose to take the initiative by first getting clear on how you intend on approaching it with your partner. A common mistake is to confront your partner about the immediate issue at hand without first trying to understand what is really troubling them. Partners can seem upset about one thing, but in truth, they are really upset about something else – maybe a number of things. This is why you first have to identify what the real problem is rather then trying to solve something that is being used to cover-up something else.
For example, your partner might be upset that you have decided to take a new job in another city, which will require your partner to relocate because of the distance from your partners home. Your partner is upset that you didn’t try to find another job in the same city. While you will still be able to see each other on weekends, it turns out that what your partner is really trouble with is all that you will be on your own and your partner fears this will lead you to meet someone new.
Trouble-Tip: Take On The Other Person’s Perspective
When in an argument you naturally feel that you are right and the other person is wrong. People rarely argue just to argue – if this is the case however there is nothing you can do other then to leave the relationship.
In a difference of opinion you must concede the possibility that your partner might actually have a different perspective on the matter. Try to imagine how they might see the problem from their perspective and from the context of they’re past experiences.
It is possible that neither of you have access have all the facts. Unless you are willing to share your partner’s perspective and assuming you and your partner are being honest with each other, it is very likely that you can resolve the issue and even become more intimate with your partner because both of you worked out an issue of difference together.
No one can read minds. Have patients and just ask your partner partner to explain, why they think it would be better to take another course of action – and then be totally silent. Do not inject anything. This demonstrates respect and a willingness to really hear what your partner is saying and feeling. This is called active and compassionate listening. The result is often a deeper understanding of each other. The bonus here is that every time you and your partner are able to do this, your relationship can become stronger and more loving.
Marriage And Couples Counseling
For many couples, counseling has been an effective way to resolve issues between partners. If you truly value the relationship and are determined to strengthen it, counseling can improve and deepen your relationship and help reduce the stress close relationships are often under. Learn More About Counseling…