Emotional Side Of Divorce
For many of us, getting married has also meant a change in the way our families, friends and loved ones view us. In marriage, we go from our single identity personhood to a combined identity. In just one ceremonial day, vows get exchanged and in the course of living a life together, a close and enduring partnership can also notice a slow but steady merging of their respective innermost identities. The part of us we know as our deepest selves, our individual spiritual essence – our respective souls.
The purpose of this article is to provide you with insight and offer spiritual direction so that you may find peace from the deep pain and confusion that is so often caused by divorce and separation. In doing so, we also acknowledge that the Universe, including each one of us as participants, exists within a framework of expanding intelligence and further, that life has purpose and that each of us, as human beings possess a singular yet deeply connected spiritual identity, the essence and nature of which is both perfect and timeless. It is from this understanding that we speak to the issues of divorce, emotional upset and the perceived loss of spiritual identity.
Divorce And Separation
In some cases, partners can merge so completely that a threatened separation of the union or a sudden and unexpected ending of the marriage can produce a profound sense of feared loss, lack of center and a sense of spiritual detachment.
Divorce has the power to dramatically change ones life as it relates to our immediate and extended family members as well. How they view us changes. The shift in life circumstances that divorce often creates can appear to us as almost surreal as the children get raised between two separate households, parents and extended family members.
Life As A Puzzle – You Get To Rework The Picture
These and many more life changes can happen with divorce and it can feel like your life is literally falling apart piece by piece. The good news however is that when the pieces of your life-puzzle fall apart, you also get the chance to pick them back up again and figure out where they belong. An opportunity to see which of the pieces of your life still fit and which ones need to be rearranged, modified or even discarded. A valuable and transforming learning opportunity is therefore always presented to us and can be considered a form of loving Grace.
Life trouble is often the catalyst to a life transformed. You get the chance to examine each one of the many pieces of your life. The parts that are working for you and the parts are not. The parts for example called love, money, companionship, family, trust and fidelity, to name just a few.
Changing your life-puzzle brings understanding and knowledge to the many parts of your life from a new perspective and even from a new source. You get to transform your own life through the co-creative process called figuring it all out. By rearranging the pieces so that it more perfectly fits with your grandest vision of whom you could become. You could say it is the process of personal and collective evolution merging into one.
Your personal transformation is the process by which you co-create with the Divine in the growth and development of your own life. You get the chance to put yourself and your life back together again more perfectly then before. This process known as transformation continues until there is nothing in you that you do not see as perfect. It is the process that brings forth your own enlightenment. The state in which one knows intuitively that he or she is a co-creative partner in the expanding Universe of life.
Divorce – Examining Your Life Without Your Partner
The emotional pain and struggle to make right what you believe has gone so wrong in life can become so deeply internalized that life itself can manifest as meaningless and without purpose or design. However, as we said above, nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, it is the process of reassembling the pieces of our life back together again that causes us to know more about ourselves as part of our larger and more complete design.
It is also how we make the unconscious parts of life conscious and therefore complete. We get the chance to see what we didn’t see before about our lives and that of our relationships with others. In doing so, our life perception expands and we gain a greater understanding of our awareness.
Loss Of Spiritual Identity – The Illusion Of Separateness
The piece of your life-puzzle called divorce and loss of spiritual identity is what we are talking about here. Ultimately, it is reduced to the fear of being rendered alone – the state of living a life separate and disconnected from those you love and from the rest of the world. The problem however is that the separateness you feel is part of an illusion.
The idea that we are alone in the world is one of the most dangerous and harmful illusions we can engage in. Yet we do this with ourselves and we end up convincing others of it as well. We make believe we are separate from everyone else. Ironically, everything that humanity and modern science has learned to date proves just the opposite is true. We are all connected at a very fundamental and essential way.
We are connected to everything and everyone and what’s more we always have been. It is the evolving force of the universe that binds spirit and matter together in a beautiful dance we know as life. The very being we know as our spirit is part of both the individual and the collective. We have never been alone– not even in our dreams.
The next time you feel that your soul is connected only to one other soul, you must remind yourself of the truth of your own existence. You must remember who you really are – you are in the never-ending process of expanding your life to include more joy, love and purpose. There is nothing that does not contribute to life’s endless and evolving procession forward – including you, your former spouse or partner and the rest of our world. We are all connected to each other by virtue of our collective spiritual identity. So live your life as if this was so, and you will discover for yourself the love you have been truly seeking.